Why Me?

By Bryn

As I sit with my wife on the seemingly endless 15 hour flight from Los Angeles to China, tears streaming down both of our faces, I come back to this theme that God has so graciously revealed:

Why me?

God used the 5 weeks I was in the United States to do some wonderful things in my heart. The climactic moment was when I walked out of Grace United Methodist Church last Sunday and said my first set of family goodbyes. As Courtney and I were driving to Johnson City to do the second set of goodbyes, I was awestruck once again by the resplendent beauty of the mountains. My natural response was warm nostalgia, especially in regards to the wonderful people I had just left behind for the second time. Thinking of my church family in particular, they are some of the most genuine people I've known - "warts and all" - and for several of them life in Erwin and its surroundings is about all they have known. Why would God choose me from among their number to experience His love, grace, mercy, and passion in ways that many long for.

With these realities pounding in my brain, eyes moist with tears, I was again confronted face-to-face with my own sinful nature and desperate need for a Savior. Since I left for Southeast Asia, God has consistently been bringing me to my knees with grief for how unfaithful, untrusting, and sinful I can be - yet, from that place comes the overwhelming flood of joy when I consider the price my Father paid for my ransom. From that place comes a respectful, fearful familiarity with Jesus Christ, who is my personal Shepherd and Friend.

As Courtney and I look forward to a new school year of living in God's provision and following His will, I want to make it clear to all those who support us and pray for us that in no way do I consider myself worthy of the call God has given to me. Truthfully, I have no answers at all to the question "Why me?" But I will tell you this: even though difficulties have come and ever loom near for the future, I wouldn't trade anything for this life of walking step-by-step in faith.

Pilgrim Journey

By Bryn

I am so excited to be going back to Southeast Asia. I cannot even describe how much, to my own surprise, I missed it while I was home. Don't get me wrong, I was so thrilled to see family and friends, understand the things that were going on around me, drive a car, eat, eat, eat some more, and eat some more!

Yet, amidst all of that, I found myself missing the climate, the people, the crazy traffic, the language, the school, the students, and even the rice of this land that has become my home.

However the moment is quickly coming when Courtney and I will step foot in Southeast Asia, get settled in our new home, and I'm going to be longing for people and things from the land of my birth and my developmental years. Now, please don't mistake what I'm saying as something fickle. I'm talking about a very real sense of grief that God has blessed me with - a grief that sees His beautiful hand at work in my present location while also longing for the people and places of blessing that God has used in my life before.

I'm on a pilgrim journey, and neither the United States nor Southeast Asia (nor anywhere else God may lead me and Courtney) is truly my "home." Indeed, the longing and anguish of "goodbye" are simply gifts that point us to another place - a Heavenly place that is being prepared for us by the Bridegroom. And from this knowledge comes the strength to savor and mourn that which is gone, embrace that which is new, and ultimately to know that no matter why God has chosen me and Courtney, where He decides to send us, what difficulties He allows to come our way, and what victories He lets us taste along the way -- through it all we run the race towards our Heavenly home, where we will walk with our Lord and cry no more, where we will "understand it better by and by."

In the meantime, I close in rejoicing with these words written by my mom to me and Courtney:

"What a privilege to let go of you to honor the Father in the collection field of little lambs for Christ!"I love you all dearly. Please never forget: He is faithful, and Courtney and I look forward to sharing more with you this year about our King of Kings.

Marriage, Honeymoon, and Southeast Asia

By Bryn:

           The recent days have had few significant time markers for me. I thought, therefore, that it would a great time to kick off my update.  This was the second week of mine and Courtney’s marriage. We already feel so incredibly blessed by God and from the encouragement that has come from our supporters. I was humbled to see many people supporting us at the wedding and realize the amount of people lifting us up in prayer. That means more to me and Courtney than we can say.
           I also my first opportunity to attend a worship service as a husband. What a blessing it is to worship the Triune God – perfect in His independence and His unity – with my wife, knowing that our relationship is now my top ministry responsibility. This is going to require a radical paradigm shift in so many areas from last year, yet I couldn’t be more excited to make them as I strive to love Courtney as Christ loves His church.

           Our current circumstances, of course, are not the easiest of ways to start our marriage. It is a time of intense transition.  I’m finding that this transition time is somewhat welcome. I’m gaining an abundance of wisdom from God – wisdom that gives me perspective about this past year and also offers foresight into the year to come. Though Courtney and I have a pretty active travel schedule for the next month, I’m finally able to take a break from what was an incredibly intense first year of teaching and live out the Scripture: “In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength” (Isaiah 30:15).
           Speaking of our schedule, the other significant time marker is that tomorrow Courtney and I will be traveling to Southaven, Mississippi for NICS’s Pre-Field Orientation. I’m looking forward to being back and connecting with contacts in other schools and leaders of our organization. It’s also going to be good to make connections with the experiences I had at BAIS and to support Courtney as she takes a lot of this information in for the first time. Please be in prayer for me as I am one of two people in charge of leading music during the next two weeks.
           The next update should come at the end of July after Courtney and I are back in Southeast Asia. We’re excited to submit and serve the One, True God – Yahweh, our ever-faithful and merciful Father. We hope you’re excited to continue following the journey through these updates, and we appreciate your continued prayers.